


Outside

by FrenchCrazyDreamer



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angels and Demons, F/F, F/M, Sometimes it gets really fluffy, Soulmates, You Have Been Warned, twin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-12
Updated: 2017-04-02
Packaged: 2018-07-14 16:02:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 17,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7178795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrenchCrazyDreamer/pseuds/FrenchCrazyDreamer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke is an angel. She lives Inside, protected from the demons. But tthis world Outside, as scary as it is, calls to her curiosity more than she cares to admit...</p><p>OR</p><p>Lexa is a demon, she lives Outside, and they are going to meet because they are soulmates.</p><p>THIS IS ON HIATUS, BUT I AM NOT ABANDONING IT.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> New story!  
> I know, I know. I have other ones. But this is the first time I post a chapter when I have already written 5 others, and I really like this story.
> 
> I hope you'll enjoy it!

It was a hot day of summer, and the children were growing tired. The class had been on for two hours now, and the temperature was too high for the seven year old Clarke to focus on whatever her teacher was saying. Her white feathers were weighing on her back, and she could feel sweat on her shoulder blades. She had just turned seven and would soon enter the Big School. That’s where people learnt what their job would be, and got their formation. She knew her mother hoped she would be classed into medical, just like her, but the little girl secretly hoped to be classed in art.

"So. Before I let you go, there’s one last thing I’m supposed to tell you about. Has any of you ever heard about Outside?”

They all raised their hands. Of course they had, everybody had.

“That’s a lot of people. Hum…Raven, what do you know about Outside?”

Clarke’s gaze fell on the dark haired girl in the front of the class.

“I know that it is dangerous. We stay in the Ark to be protected.”

“That’s true. Who else? Harper?”

“My mommy says that there are people out there. Mean ones, with weapons.”

Murphy made fun of him by taking a high pitched voice and saying “mommy I’m afraid!”, and everybody laughed, except for the girl, who blushed.

“She’s right, there are people out there. We call them the Grounders. They are separated into 12 clans, and they have a leader they call Heda.”

“Do they have wings?” “They do Monty, but theirs are not like ours. They have black ones.”

Octavia raised her tiny hand.

“Professor Pike, I have a question.”

He looked at her and nodded.

“Go on.”

“I want to know about the Link.”

Everyone grew silent.

“Well, you know it’s a delicate subject. Does anyone know about the Link? Finn? Heard about it?”

“I read a book about it.”

When Pike managed to shut the children on the fact that he could read big books without pictures, he told him to continue.

“It said that there’s a match to each one of us Outside. For example, there’s someone among the Grounders that is Linked with me. When they die, I will die.” “Actually, if you kill that person yourself, you won’t die, and the opposite situation is true too.”

Clarke was terrified. Were they kidding?

“The Link is a sacred bond. That’s why everytime someone turns eighteen, they have to go Outside meet their match. The Arker kills the Grounder, or the Grounder kills the Arker. Demon against angel. Jasper?”

“Can something happen to an angel that would turn them into a demon? I think I heard something like that.”

“Yes. I have never seen such a thing and probably never will, but it’s possible. You have to be Outisde for it to happen obviously. It’s called Falling. And your wings go black.”

“Is it painful?”

“I’ve never experienced it of course, but from what we know, yes it is. Probably very painful actually, Wells.”

The children are now listening intently, worrying their little brains with a thousands of questions. Bellamy raised his hand.

“Do we have to? Go Outside, I mean.”

“Unfortunately, yes. If you don’t meet your match on your eighteen birthday, you die.”

He looked at his twin sister with worry, even if they were still so young, he couldn’t imagine loosing is sister to a savage.

“How do we know it’s them?”

Everybody turned to look at Clarke.

“You’ll go to the Circle. It’s made of trees, it’s rather big. Your match will feel that it is the day you are going out, and will meet you there. Miller, you’ve got a question?”

“Yes. Do people die sometimes?”

“Obviously, sometimes they do. We lose a lot of people because of this, but those that come back are considered adults. When you have killed your match, you feel torn apart. On one side, you are free, and your future is just in front of your eyes. On the other side, something inside of you is missing. But you get used to the feeling.”

“Have you killed your match?”

“Every single adult Inside has, Monroe.”

“Who was it?”

“You guys are very curious. It was a dark skinned woman, very tall. She was very pretty, but wasn’t carrying any weapons. I didn’t hesitate, I didn’t wait for her to talk, and I just shoot. You can’t let them get to close, or you’re dead.”

When she got back home that night, Clarke was sure of one thing.

She would kill her match.

She would win.

 

* * *

 

 

_**Years later** _

Clarke woke up with a horrible headache that morning. She had definitely been drinking too much the night before. She sat up and groaned, pressing her palm on her front head as if it was going to help and soothe the pain.

“Mum?”

She slipped in a pair of jeans and put on her favorite sweater before going for the kitchen. Her mom was making coffee.

“Hey honey.”

She turned to look at her with her brown eyes filled of worry and sleep.

“Hey.”

“You got drunk last night. Again.”

The blonde didn’t answer, sitting at the counter and taking an apple.

“It’s my last day, don’t be an ass.”

“Don’t talk to me like that, Clarke. I don’t like that tone.”

The teenager sighed started eating the fruit.

“Someday I’ll know how they bring fresh food Inside. I’ll figure it out.”

“Unless you are classed into the cooking, you won’t.”

“I don’t want to be a cook.”

“Then get used to not knowing where this apple comes from.”

“From Outside, obviously.”

“Clarke. We talked about this.”

The young woman rolled her eyes.

“You don’t like it, I get it. But I’m 18 tomorrow, and yes, I will come back changed. It’s not every day you kill the one that is on the other side of your soul. You never told me about yours.”

“There’s nothing to tell. It’s something personal.”

The blue eyed woman nodded.

“OK. I have to go anyway, Raven went Outside yesterday and O and me want to be in the Corridor when they open the doors to let her in.”

She got out of the apartment and walked in the grey corridors of the Ark. Soon she spotted Octavia and Bellamy sitting in the Corridor. The Corridor was the place the closest to Outside. It was larger corridor, with a door that lead to a room where people entered and got out on their eighteenth birthday. It contained the famous doors.

“I’m so excited. I can’t wait for her to tell us all about it!”

Clarke giggled at her friend’s eagerness.

“Me neither.”

They waited for two hours, chatting lightly, growing worrier with each minute that passed. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the door opened. A man in a black suit and a tie appeared, very serious. They sensed the change of the mood even before he opened his mouth, his grave voice slapping the blonde on the face.

“I’m sorry.”

Raven was dead. Her match had killed her.

 

* * *

 

 

She inhaled deeply in her mother’s scent, burying her face in her hair, not letting the tears forming in her eyes go. Raven was dead, and now, it was her turn. She was going Outside.

“You can do this Clarke. I trust you. You are strong enough, I know you are.”

Clarke pulled away from the hug and looked one last time in those dark eyes she grew up looking at.

“I love you mom.”

“I love you so much Clarke.”

She took a deep breath and turned around, walking the few meters to the door. They closed it after her and a man in a suit gave her a gun and a pocket knife.

“Good luck.”

The doors opened, and she walked Outside, leaving the place she had never left in her entire life. She heard the noise of the metallic door locking behind her but she couldn’t care anymore. The sun was blinding her, but it was so worth it. She gazed at the sky first, the most magnificent blue she had ever seen. She took a few steps forward, grass touching her ankles for the first time. An amazed smile plastered on her face as she started walking between the trees, looking around her, keeping every detail preciously in her memory.

She had one day. One day in paradise.

She looked at the little electronic map. She was the black dot, and the red one was the Circle. She followed the harrow on the plan, breathing deeply the fresh air, taking in everything. Of course she was still mourning over Raven’s death, but this was too beautiful to be wasted by crying her heart out. She would have plenty of time to do it once her match was dead. She was brought back from her thought to reality when her map beeped, signaling she was nearing the right place.

She turned around and saw the Circle from afar. She drew her gun and slowly made her way to the trees. There was a figure inside already. When she got closer, she saw it was a woman, with long wild chestnut curls. This was it. The blonde took her first steps inside, shaking. Green eyes locked on her. The woman seemed to be maybe 3 years older, and she was a bit taller.

“My name is Lexa.”

Clarke hadn’t except her voice to be that deep or sweet. It would be more difficult than she thought to kill her. The girl straightened her back, opening her large black wings. Clarke forced herself to do the same with her own ones, trying not to look intimidated.

“Uh- I’m Clarke.”

She took her gun them and pointed it at the woman. The brunette’s gaze showed no surprise as Clarke prepared to shoot, but she didn’t even move to prevent her from killing her. She looked at something behind Clarke, and the blonde chose to use that distraction to act. She didn’t have time to though, because she felt two strong arms wrap around her from behind, making her loose her grip on her weapon. She was brought on her knees. She debated, but the hold was too tight.

“No! You’re not supposed to be helped!”

Clarke was shaking with anger and fear.

_I don’t want to die!_

She closed her eyes, feeling her body going limp against her will. She was going to be killed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the second chapter!
> 
> I don't have a beta and english isn't my first language. So sorry if there are a few mistakes!

Darkness. Clarke’s head was spinning, she felt boneless, and all she could see was darkness. She started realizing she was lying somewhere. And alive. Very much alive. She moved her fingers in a slow motion, coming back to her senses. With a heavy sigh, she finally opened her eyes.

 _What the hell happened?_ She turned her head to see where she was, having no clue at all. She was alone in a big tent, resting on warm furs. She forced her arms to push her upper body up and blinked a few times. She still had her clothes on. Good. She got her feet out from under the covers and placed them on the floor. Every one of her movements were exaggerated and difficult. She felt dizzy and weird, as if she was in a strange realistic dream. She could smell the trees and the forest in the air. She was Outside. She replayed the events of earlier in her head.

The green eyes of the slender woman. Her gun that dropped on the floor with a heavy noise. The strong arms that circled her when she drifted to unconsciousness.

She got onto her feet and took a few hesitant steps in the tent. She reached the entrance and pushed the fabric, letting the sun inside. Her eyes were burnt at the sudden amount of light and she stopped abruptly. She was in some kind of a village, surrounded by people with black wings. Grounders.

She stared, completely shocked. Two small children ran just in front of her, the little girl chasing the little boy, both laughing heartedly. How could they look so innocent and happy? Grounders were demons. They weren’t supposed to know what happiness was. She watched them disappear from her sight, amazed. _This is crazy_. When they turned at the corner of a house, she focused back on what was in front of her, and realized everyone was looking at her. She blushed but stood a little taller, hiding her fear as well as she could.

“Clarke!”

She knew that voice. And it wasn’t possible. She turned around to see Raven running towards her.

“Raven?!”

She started running too, and they met almost violently, hugging each other tightly, Clarke’s tears wetting both their cheeks and hair once she had processed what was happenning.

“You-Raven, youwere supposed to be dead!”

The blonde couldn’t care about the demons watching her anymore. All that mattered was the raven haired girl in her arms. Raven was alive. She pulled back then, and caressed her face gently, looking in this dark orbs to convince herself the girl was safe.

“Are you ok?”

“She’s fine. But you’re standing way too close for my liking.”

They turned to look at the woman who had spoken. Hazel eyes, dark blonde hair, sharp cheek bones. Raven grinned a little shyly, and it was so not Raven-like to be shy. She took a step back and scratched her shoulder nervously.

“Clarke, this is Anya. My match.”

Clarke’s eyes widened. _How is she still alive, then?_

“You have a lot to be told. I still do actually, I only arrived a few days ago. You’ve been asleep for three days. That’s normal, don’t worry, being Outside for the first time is overwhelming.”

She smiled gently and the blonde told her to go on.

“So. They don’t kill their match. They say matches are soulmates. We are not supposed to kill the one we are Linked with. Those are all legends from the Ark.”

This was so much information all at once. So many feelings were coursing through her and fast, making her wings move on their own like crazy. She wanted to be told more, but everything was too much, and she said what came to her mind.

"I can’t believe you’re alive Rae...”

She started sobbing, and she felt so useless and pathetic, but Raven smiled and hugged her, comforting the overwhelmed young woman.

“There are so many people here Clarke. Nobody dies on their eighteenth birthday. They just leave with their mates.”

Anya came to stand next to Raven, wrapping her arm around her waist possessively.

“Foolish people kill their soulmates on their Meeting Day at the Circle. Actually, they all try to. Raven and you did, also.”

“That’s because we’re are taught that-“

“We know what they tell you. We have welcomed people from Inside during thousands of generations. Unfortunately, some of us are still killed regularly by people from the Ark. Our leaders are growing restless. War is brewing.”

She couldn’t believe it. Her entire life, people she loved had been telling her lies. Maybe they didn’t even know they were lies.

Clarke looked at Anya then.

“I met mine. My match, I mean. She said her name was Lexa.”

“I know. I was there for your meeting, I’m the one who dropped your weapon and held you.”

Raven beamed excitedly and clapped her hands like a young child.

“Anya was Lexa’s former mentor, so basically they are family, which means we are family too Clarkey! Even more than before, if possible.”

She hugged the blonde again and Clarke let her, too many things going on in her head to react.

“So, uh…What’s going to happen to me now?”

Anya turned around and signaled for the girls to follow. “I shall take you to the commander.”

Clarke didn’t say anything, she just walked behind the warrior, wondering what kind of man a commander would be. Probably one of those stupid guys who count on their muscles and combat skills to make them look powerful. They arrived in front of a big tent, probably the biggest of the whole camp, and stopped there. Anya pushed the entrance to enter, the two women hot on her heels.

“Heda. Klark ste hir.” Commander. Clarke is here.

When her clear eyes adjusted to the darkness, they fell on the figure sitting on the throne. Slender, small, feminine but strong. All the more intimidating.  _Definitely not a man_.

“Miya Klark.” Come here Clarke.

Of course the blonde woman had no idea what was being said, so she was kind of surprised when she met the hard glare of the dark blonde. She was pushed forward and stumbled until she was standing a few feet from the sitting woman. That’s when she recognized those green eyes behind the black war paint.

 

_There is a house built out of stone Wooden floors,_

_walls and window sills..._

_Tables and chairs worn by all of the dust..._

_This is a place where I don't feel alone_

_This is a place where I feel at home..._

 

“Lexa…”

She heard a groan and turned her head to see a dark skinned woman with short hair looking at her with disdain and anger.

“Heda, osir nou na wich disha gada in. Osir jos beda frag em op.” Commander, we can’t trust this girl. We should just kill her.

“Shof op Indra.”

The brunette stood up and came to a stop a few centimeters from her soulmate’s face. They stared at each other for a moment before Lexa whispered softly only for the blonde to hear.

“Ai nou na teik yu bants nowe." I will never let you go.

 

_And I built a home_

_For you_

_For me_

 

Clarke’s breath hitched a little bit.

“I’m sorry. I don’t understand.”

Lexa nodded, and then turned to the group gathered in her tent.

“Leave us.”

The room emptied and the older woman went back to sitting on her throne. The cold aura that surrounded her dropped very suddenly, and a totally different woman was before Clarke. Still guarded, but clearly less.

“My general was being rude. We are used to welcome people from the Ark who are willing to stay, but sometimes, when they aren’t, we kill them. As I am the commander, some are feeling uneasy. I can’t show weakness. It would be easier to kill you.”

She sighed, and her mask was set again, not letting any emotion show.

“However, I have no intention of killing you if I don’t have to. Tomorrow the moon will be full. Your friend Raven, a boy named Atom and you, the latest persons from the Ark to arrive, are going to go through the test. The moon is going to see your soul.”

_Creepy._

“Two things can happen. The moon can decide that you are worthy of becoming one of us. They you will Fall. Or, the moon can decide that you can’t join. Then you won’t Fall, and you will die.”

The blonde stared at her feet, swallowing difficultly.

“How will you know if we Fall?”

Lexa smiled a bit, amused, letting some of her emotions show.

“Your wings will turn to black. Did they really tell you nothing back in the Ark?”

She eyed the white feathers then, with some kind of awe and something very close to fear mixed together.

“Angels are so soft and weak. You’ll have to prove your strength. No one can pretend anything in front of the moon. She knows everything.”

The brunette stood up once again and poured two glasses of wine, handing one to the young woman.

“If you pass the test and join us, you will be my houmon. I’m not sure how to translate this in gonasleng. Maybe…Wife? Partner? Mate? Something like that.”

Clarke stared at her, wide eyes.

“Do I have any choice in that?”

Softly, the green eyed came closer and took her hand.

“The gods decided that we were to be united, Klark kom Skaikru. Nobody can say anything to stop us from being tied. We’re Linked, and that’s sacred. We shall respect the god’s wishes. But I assure you, I will never force you into doing anything you don’t want to do. Neither will I ever cheat on this union, even if you don’t want me in your heart and bed. I promise that to you.”

Her skin was warm where it touched the other girl, and she blushed a bit.

“I- I mean, uh, thank you Lexa. For explaining me and…I don’t know, just…thank you.”

“You’re welcome, prisa.”

_Prisa._

“What does it mean?”

“Princess. If you are to be united to the commander, you’ll be the princess of our people. Until you give birth to an heir. Then you’ll become a queen.”

“I’m sorry? An heir?”

Clarke was shocked, to be put shortly. It must have showed on her features since the other girl rushed to explain.

“Don’t worry Clarke, this is not what you think. I know we are both girls, and I know I just promised not to touch you against your will. I won’t. It’s something granted by the spirits. When we are ready, the spirits will bless us with a child. Since I am the commander, you will be the one to get pregnant. It’s a normal thing for same sex couples, it just happens.”

 _Outside is crazy_.

“What if I’m never ready?”

“I trust that you will change your mind over years. But if you don’t, I will respect it, and we shall not have children.”

“And who will success you?”

“Another nightblida. Children with black blood are brought to Polis when they are babies, to get trained in case the commander dies before having an heir. The commander’s children are also nightblidas, but they are prioritized. The first child always becomes commander.”

Clarke shakes her head, trying to understand everything.

“If I’m being honest I feel kind of trapped.”

“What do you mean?”

The pink lips of the commander closed around the glass and she took a long sip. The blue eyed girl took a deep breath and avoided the older one’s gaze, staring at her feet and trying to sentence her worries.

“I feel like I’m no longer the master of my destiny.”

 

_Out in the garden where we planted the seeds_

_There is a tree as old as me_

_Branches were sewn by the color of green_

_Ground had arose and passed it's knees_

 

A knowing look passed on the brunette’s features, and her green eyes softened.

“You are, Clarke. More than ever. I promise that to you. Do you really feel like you could decide what to do with your future on the Ark?”

The blue eyed woman stayed silent, her gaze meeting the green one finally.

“That’s true, actually. I didn’t have a choice. But I still don’t. What are you trying to say?”

“You can choose here, Clarke. If your wings turn black, you can start over with your life. Become a warrior, a healer, a teacher, a nurse, a story teller, a dancer, a musician, a peasant…Anything you want to be. You can go anywhere you want to go, I’ll be at your side. I know what you’re really worried about is us. But we are soulmates, Clarke. You can trust the spirits on this.”

“Why do you keep talking about the spirits? Is it some kind of a religion?”

“Our legends say that stars are the souls of humans. When one dies, their spirit comes back in a new body. But they are still from the same star.”

“Reincarnation...”

“Yes, exactly. And soulmates are born from the same stars. According to our beliefs, we have met before, and will meet again.”

Clarke found the idea pretty nice, and it made her smile a little. She started to understand this feeling of ease around the strong girl, this Link between them, this need to be closer to a complete stranger.

“Those are really nice stories. I wish the Ark’s ones were that poetic.”

“If you rely only on science, you forget about the beauty of the world. Arkers are fools. We have to show them.”

 

_By the cracks of his skin I climbed to the top_

_I climbed the tree to see the world_

_When the gusts came around to blow me down_

_Held on as tightly as you held onto me_

_Held on as tightly as you held onto me..._

 

The blonde’s little smile turned into a full grin as she imagined her people living all together Outside, the threat of the demons killing them no longer existing.

“I like it when you smile, Clarke of the sky people. It’s like all the light around us is coming from you, and I can almost see stars dancing above the fire in your eyes. So blue. Like the ocean. I will show you the ocean, one day.”

She was Outside. She really was. This beautiful woman was her soulmate. And one day, they were going to see the ocean together. The blonde never thought she’d ever be excited about something so cheesy and cliché.

She was full of anxiety and uncertainties for the future, but confident about one thing.

She was going to be a part of this world. Even after everything the Ark had tried to put in her head for so long.

She was born to be an Outsider.

 

_And, I built a home_

_For you_

_For me…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All my thoughts go to Orlando. I don't have even know what to say. I'm horrified.
> 
> Ste yuj everyone!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, I hope everyone's having a good day :)  
> Here is the next chapter, and I'm in a good mood so I'm not going to talk for hours, I'll just let you read.  
> Enjoy!

When she awoke the next day, her waist was circled by two arms. She grumbled and sat up, smiling at the sight of a sleeping Raven drooling a bit on the pillows. They had spent the night together, drowning comfort in each other’s presence. They knew that it was the last night they would be able to cuddle together, since they were going to either Fall or die during the night, and then they would sleep next to their matches.

The blonde went to the bowls of fresh water waitresses had put on the night table. She plunged her hands and refreshed her face, passing her wet hands on her hair to wake herself up. She spotted two outfits at the side of the bed, and picked the one that fitted her better.

“Hey, Raven. Get up.”

No answer. She threw the water from the second bowl on the sleepy figure, and the girl woke up with a scream.

“Fuck! Clarke! I’ll kill you!” The blue eyed woman laughed at that. She started running out, a grumpy Raven chasing after her. People were watching them with wide eyes, wondering why Raven was still in pajamas and why she wanted to kill her friend, but the two women paid them no mind. They were just happy to be reunited and alive.

“I’m gonna catch you, you brat, I swear you’re so dead!”

Clarke was going to answer with some snarky comment when suddenly she couldn’t hear her friends footsteps behind her anymore.

“Rae?”

She turned around and gasped a little. Lexa had her back to her, her chestnut hair tied in tight braids from the top of her haid. She had her sword out, pointed to Raven’s chest. The raven haired girl’s face showed nothing but fear and panick as her breathing was coming out all labored and uneasy.

“What the- Lexa what the hell are you doing?”

The older woman didn’t turn around as she answered.

“She was threatening to kill you.”

At that moment Anya came out of one of the tents, looking surprised and upset.

“Commander. Please, would you lower your sword.”

No reaction. The dark blonde fumed and looked around to see if people were watching. They were. But she couldn’t stand that. She put her hand on the green eyed girl’s shoulder.

“Lexa. Drop your weapon right now.”

The brunette growled.

“She is a threat to my mate! What would you have me do?”

Clarke stepped around to face Lexa, pushing her friend behind her.

“We were playing. She wasn’t saying this seriously.”

“Arkers really do have bad tastes in games.”

She turned to the still shaking Raven.

“I am sorry, Raven. Please, if you would not to that again, I would appreciate it.”

She gave a fearful nod as an answer, and was wrapped in Anya’s hold. Lexa turned to look at Clarke.

“Are you sure you’re OK?”

“I am, don’t worry.”

“I am the commander. I don’t do worrying."

“Yeah, sure.”

She hide her smirk as well as she could and went back to check on Raven.

 

* * *

 

When lunch time came, Lexa and Anya were attending to a meeting to talk about the ceremony that were going to be held that night. Raven and Clarke were back in the guest tent they had slept in, eating what the commander had her servants bring them. 

“Oh god. This is heaven.”

Clarke shoved another piece of fresh meat in her mouth and nodded.

“I don’t know how we survived with the food we had on the Ark. Seriously, I’ve never tasted something that good. I love Outside.” 

They shared some fruits and kept moaning at each bite, mocking each other and catching up. When they were finished they decided to go for a walk and headed to the forest, being informed that their Matches were still not finished with their meeting. They were discreetly followed by two guards, but the girls paid them no mind. They laughed together on their way between the trees, relieving on the feeling of just having time to spend alone when they thought they would never see each other again a few hours ago. When they emerged they came in sight of a river. The sun was glowing but the wind was freezing, so the strange turquoise blue water didn’t seem to be that appealing. Raven beamed excitedly anyway, clapping her hands and giggling like a little girl.

“Yay!”

“We’re totally not going in there Raven! Stop being a child, think for a minute, and come back here. We can’t swim!” 

The blonde chased after her friend who was already striping as she ran, ignoring her. The older girl sticked out her tongue playfully and started entering the water knee-deep.

“Rae you’re crazy, seriously this is dangerous.”

“You’re ruining the fun you big baby! Come on, join me before I come and get you!”

Clarke sighed and started taking off her jacket as her friend walked in the river. She tasted the water with the edge of her toe and made a face.

“Shit that’s really cold, I don’t think I can go all the way in.”

“Of course you can! Hurry up!”

She rolled her eyes at her friend’ eagerness and braced herself. As she was going to join the raven haired woman, she saw some dark shape moving in their direction.

“Raven…Something’s wrong. We should get out. Raven. Raven, get out of the water! Now!”

The other girl didn’t even have time to turn around and see what was going on, she was already being bitten in the leg and dragged away. Her scream echoed between the trees and the two grounder guards got out of the trees to come and help them. One of them, a red hair woman with a killer jawline, grabbed Clarke’s bicep and forced her to step away from the river.

“I need to help her, she can’t swim!”

The grounder didn’t answer, locking her teeth together instead and deploying her black wings. She wrapped her arms around the blonde’s torso, who felt her feet being lifter from the ground. 

“No. No please, we need to help her!”

She felt the arms around her tighten again. Too much. She was starting to struggle with her breathing, and as they were lifted by the strong wings higher than the trees, she gave one last look at the other grounder preparing himself to attack the snake with his spear and Raven’s mouth letting high pitched agony sounds out. 

“Raven…”

She gave a last weak attempt to loosen the hold of the arms and that took her remaining strength away. The edge of her vision became blurry as her head fell forwards, and she was taken by darkness.

 

* * *

 

 

 When Clarke woke up, she could tell by the lack of light piercing through the tent’s walls that the night had slowly settled over the camp. She stirred and sat up, rubbing her sore chest. She felt long fingers settle softly on hers and turned around, only to be met by concerned green eyes gazing right back at her. Then it all came back to her.

“Where’s Raven? Is she alright?”

“She’s recovering. A bad leg injury, but she’ll survive. Rogar saved her.”

“Rogar…?”

“Her personal guard. Yours was Kayleen. But I will find another, a more trustworthy one.”

Darkness covered the clear color of the green pools.

“She made you pass out so that you would stop fighting her. But she wasn’t supposed to. She will pay for what she has done.”

Clarke remained silent for a moment, remembering how the red haired woman had cut her breathing.

“What will happen to her?”

“Death.”

“That’s…Harsh. I was being difficult, and she wanted to get me back to safety.”

The brunette grumbled.

“We’ll talk about that later. How are you feeling?”

“Sore, mostly, but I’m fine.”

The older woman nodded, her gaze softening as she drew patterns on the back of Clarke’s hand with her thumb.

“The ceremony will begin in an hour or so. We should get you prepared.”

The young woman got out of bed and followed her soulmate through the tent, entering the dressing room. Two young women were already there, obviously waiting for them.

“Clarke, this is Asilyn.”

The woman was in her early thirties. She had a long pale face with gentle grey eyes, and long wavy black hair flying freely down her back.

“She was the previous heda’s sister, and works here now. She’s my personal handmaiden.”

The blonde smiled at the older woman softly, and she was acknowledged by a friendly nod.

“And this is Sasha.”

The girl was around sixteen. She had light brown hair, almost blond, and a cute face full of freckles. She was kind of small, and her hair was braided on the side of her pretty neck. She was wearing a nice smile, making her hazel eyes shine.

“She has been Asilyn’s apprentice, and will be your handmaiden.”

Again, smiles were exchanged.

“Let us begin.”

They were both dragged by their handmaidens in two separated parts of the room. Sasha made Clarke sit on a wooden chair with very intricate designs, and started brushing her hair. When she was satisfied and the knots were gone, she ran her talented fingers over the blond head, pulling the rebellious strands in tight braids. When she was done, she took the war paint. It wasn’t like the one every warrior in the village was wearing when training, it was white. She knew it was to match her wings and indicate she was still an angel, so she didn’t say anything and let the teenager apply the substance around her eyes in the same pattern Lexa was wearing the day the met.

“You’re her Match, you have to be recognizable by that.”

Then Sasha helped her get in a light blue dress that embraced her curves perfectly. She washed the clear wings very carefully, making them look even more white and brilliant. When Clarke stared at herself in the mirror, she couldn’t recognize herself, but she was amazed. She looked beautiful.

“This is amazing Sasha. You’re so talented…”

The young girl was grinning proudly.

“Let’s join Heda, she’ll be waiting for you outside.”

They got out of the bedroom and walked in the dark corridors silently. Sasha opened the door and Clarke’s breath was taken away.

“Lexa…”

The brunette was stunning. She was wearing a dark dress and her hair was free except for one single braid on the right side. Her war paint was the same but black, and her wings were even more imposing and beautiful.

“You’re beautiful”, she whispered.

“As you are, Clarke.”

The same look of amazement and adoration was decorating the commander’s features as she took Clarke’s hand possessively.

“Follow me.”

They walked together in the village until they arrive at its center, where a lot of people were already gathered around the fire, dressed for the ceremony as well. As the crowd parted to let the head pass, Clarke saw a little blond girl tugging at her father’s t-shirt, he round cheeks covered by war paint. _Even children_ … She was pushed gently forward by her Linked one’s hand on the small of her back, and he saw Raven, standing next to Anya. Another boy, Atom, was next to them, his Match looking at him with worry. Lexa raised her hands, and the world seemed to silence itself.

“Kru kom TonDC.”

Clarke took a deep breath and stared at the moon.

“Tonight, we’re here to let three new souls be seen by the Moon’s eyes. Tonight, it will be decided if they are worthy of Falling and joining us, or if their soul should be destroyed.”

The blonde stared at her feet them, finding the glowing of the moon very intimidating suddenly.

“Atom. We shall begin with you.”

The man gave one last look at his mate, who squeezed his hand before he walked to stand in front of Lexa.

“Mother Moon, may you choose wisely.”

She told the boy to close her eyes and placed her hand on his fronthead. She withdrew it then, and watched. Atom started to shake slightly, his wings flapping like crazy like he could not control them any longer. He fell on his knees and released a painful scream. Hot tears fell on his paling cheeks and he fell forward.

“Please, please make it stop…”

Clarke watched with horror as the boy cried out in agony, trying to rip his skin apart. Suddenly his body went still and his eyes opened. Everyone was silent. His wings were still white, and his eyes had lost all color. Lexa looked even more nervous than before as she spoke.

“Atom has not survived this test! May the memory of him always stay in our minds.”

They watched for a few minutes Atom’s devastated soulmate throwing herself at him, crying and screaming, going down on her knees. She begged the sky, cursed on the moon and clung to his body, until some warriors came and took the boy’s body, helping the young woman up on her feet to guide her to her tent. The blonde woman remembered some explanations Sasha had given her while helping her dress. _“It is said that losing your soulmate is like losing a part of yourself. Half of your soul is gone. You’re not completely alive anymore.”_

Lexa turned to Clarke then, her bottom lip shaking slightly.

“Clarke. This is your turn.”

The blonde advanced very slowly. Maybe she was going to die right then. She closed her eyes.

“Mother Moon, may you choose wisely.”

She felt cold fingers rest on her forehead, and took a deep breath. She focused on calming down as the touch went away, but a furious burning started in her stomach, growing fast and strong. Soon, the girl’s limbs were shaking, and her wings were going out of control. As much as she tried to get a grip on her mind, there was nothing she could do here. It was like her body and her spirit were separated, two different beings no longer part of the same person. She let out a sharp cry, the pain increasing even more, her body torn apart. I’m going to die. She lifted her gaze, trying to focus it enough to find pained green orbs in the crowd. She met Lexa’s eyes one last time.

 _I’m so sorry_.

She fell. As heavy as a stone, she felt herself falling, and heard a loud thumb as she collided with the ground, before everything went black


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, enjoy!  
> This chapter has been edited, if you want to read it again :)

_She fell. As heavy as a stone, she felt herself falling, and heard a loud thumb as she collided with the ground, before everything went black._

 

* * *

 

 

There was some yellow light in the room, she could tell with her eyes closed. She could feel a welcoming and warming aura around her, and assumed she had to be in some tent. She stirred and groaned in pain, the base of her wings on fire.

_I’m waking up after passing out. Again._

She cracked her eyelids open and blinked a few times. She was alone, on a very large bed, in a tent that was familiar to her. She rubbed her forehead slowly and sat up. She was in the commander’s tent, but Lexa was nowhere to be seen. Then she remembered.

The ceremony. She survived it. Or was she really alive? Was it some kind of life after death? She turned around immediately to look at her wings, and gasped. She opened them, very carefully as she was still in pain, and extended a shaking hand to stroke the feathers.

They were as black as ink.  

 

* * *

 

 

She was wandering around the village, looking for Lexa, very aware of the glances people were stealing at her wings, when she recognized Anya’s tent.

_Raven_.

She ran until she stood just in front of the flap, fearful. What if Raven hadn’t survived the ceremony? She cleared her throat as loud as she could.

“Enter.”

She stepped in, her eyes closed at first, breathing in to try and accomodate herself again to the idea that Raven might be dead. She heard a familiar voice giggle and let her eyes fly open to be greeted by the sight of Raven smiling excitedly and playing with her dark wings.

“Clarke! Oh my god. Your wings are absolutely beautiful! I can’t believe we’ve passed. Isn’t it wonderful? Anya went out to get me something to eat, are you hungry? I think…”

And she kept babbling as Clarke forced herself to breathe calmly in and out, a small smile of relief appearing on her face as she joined her friend and hugged her, taking in her scent.

“I was so worried about you Rae.”, she whispered.

“I was too, you cutie. And Lexa was. Hella worried. You should have seen her face when you fell, she rushed to pick you up, and she made my ceremony be very quick so that she could take care of you. That was so sweet.”

The tanned skinned woman smirked and her friend rolled her eyes, elbowing her.

“Stop that. It's not like we have talked enough to get to know each other. We're still strangers, technically.

“Whatever you say, princess.”

There fell in a small and comfortable silence, wrapped in each other and the joy of being alive and together. The blonde tilted her head to the side after a moment.

“I’ve been thinking. The Blakes are going to be 18 soon, aren’t they?”

“If I recall, it will be in 4 days.”

“I hope Bell is going to pass the test.”

“What about Octavia?”

Clarke smiled confidently.

“I know she’ll pass it. She’ll love this place and these people so much. She was born for Outside.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right.” 

 

* * *

 

Clarke went back to the tent after a moment with her friend, and was surprised to find Lexa sitting at the table in the middle of the room.

“Hey.”

The brunette looked up and smiled shyly, letting the map she was studying to walk towards her Match.

“How are you feeling?”

“Quite good actually. Apart from my wings, my body seems to feel pretty good if you think about what it went through.”

A guilty look passed on the commander’s features, and she looked down at their feet.

“I’m sorry Clarke. I hope you understand that it was necessary.”

The blonde took her soulmate’s hand gently to make her look up.

“Of course I do you idiot. You didn’t do anything, stop blaming yourself.”

The green eyes were still avoiding her blue ones. Clarke sighed, letting the hand go in favor on going to sit on the bed.

“Your wings are truly beautiful that way, Clarke. They were before, but now they are stunning.”

“I don’t think they would ever be compared to yours.”

She earned a slight blush, and hide her smirk.

“Thank you.”

There was a small silence, during which Lexa looked like she was preparing herself for something. She took a deep breath and locked gazes with her Match.

“Clarke, you passed. I’m so glad, you can’t even know how much. Now that I know you are going to be ok, there’s someone I need to introduce you to.”

The blonde nodded, surprised and eager to see who it was.

“Come with me.”

Lexa turned around and Clarke followed her as they got out of the tent, walking through the village.

“Saya came with me to TonDc when I told her I felt that my soulmate was going to come at the circle. She is in the forest right now, looking for medical plants. She is a healer.”

The brunette gave a shy smile as they kept going, the younger woman listening intently.

“She is…very important to me. One of the rare persons I allow myself to be weak for by caring. I- I really hope you two will like each other.”

Clarke tried to imagine who that girl would be. Could it possibly be a best friend? A mother, aunt? Did Lexa even have a family? She had assumed that she had none, since she was never talking about it. Obviously, she was wrong.

They arrived in a large clearing and Clarke was slightly blinded by the intensity of the sun. She kept her gaze on the grass as they took a few steps, and soon two feet appeared in her line of sight, surrounded by small blue flowers. The person was bare foot, and as Clarke could see as she lifted slowly her eyes, had very long legs. There was a black tattoo around the right ankle, resting on a tanned skin so naturally that it seemed like it was a part of it. The blonde let her gaze lift up and focus on strong arms, holding a few arrows and a bow, before going up and meeting soft and gentle green eyes. Lexa’s exact eyes.

“Lex-But… What the-“

“Clarke, this is Saya.”

The blonde looked at her Match, and then at Saya.

“You have a twin!”

Lexa nodded, her face betraying nothing.

“Saya, this is Clarke. My Match.”

Her twin sister smiled sweetly at hearing those words and extended her arm, presenting her hand to the blonde. They shook arms, Clarke making eye contact with Lexa. Everything about her sister was screaming gentleness, sweetness, generosity and peace. She had Lexa’s features, but a much softer body, and the mask keeping the feelings inside was lacking.

“I am so glad to meet you, Clarke.”

The blonde watched as the sisters made eye contact, communicating somehow in a way the blonde knew she would never understand. It was fascinating. There was an awkward silence then, and Lexa cleared her throat.

“Indra told me you were hunting. If you want us to leave you, we will go back.”

She seemed unsure as she stared at the two women.

“If it doesn’t bother you, I would like to go with you.”

She stared into blue orbs, eyeing her with a soft but careful kindness.

“I need to know her intentions are good.”

Lexa sighed and rolled her eyes, a small smile forcing its way to her lips anyway. She stared at her sister for moment, and they gazed into each other's eyes. They stayed still for a second, and Clarke hated how she felt like an intruder. This relationship between the two girls seemed to be beyond her understanding, and she was as confused as awed.

 The gaze holding broke after a few minutes and Lexa came to her Match, taking her hand between heh something that came close to worry.

“Are you okay with this?”, she whispered, putting a blonde strand behind the girl’s ear. It was now Clarke's eyes to stay into Lexa's very soul by gazing into the green of her expressive eyes, before she nodded slowly and allowed herself to be guided back to camp, the other brunette walking with them.

 

* * *

 

 When they reached the village, the sun was letting its place to the moon, and the sky was darkening. A few hunters were already gathering woods in the fireplace to cook what they had caught, and a bunch of children were playing near them with some wooden toys. Clarke sighed and rubbed her sore shoulders, letting her wings out of her shoulder blades. She had to keep them inside while in the forest to move more freely between the trees, but she felt it hurt her entire body now. She wasn’t really used to her new wings yet. She sat by the fire, Lexa following as she let her own wings out. The brunette eyed her sister carefully as she sat, facing the couple. The blonde didn’t see it but her Match nodded slowly at her twin. Saya looked at Clarke then.

“There’s something kind of strange that happens when there are twins Outside. Have you ever heard of it?”

The younger woman said no with her head.

“When two identical twins are born, nothing can help tell which one is one. That’s a statement.”

The blonde nodded.

“Twins are like a mirror. The same body, the same face. But inside, the opposite.”

Green eyes met each other as Lexa continued her sister’s story.

“What Saya is trying to say is that we complete each other. She's the light to my darkness. She's the sun to my moon. The day to my night. Soft and fierce.”

“Weak and strong.”

“That’s not true.”

“You know it is.”

There was a small silence, during which the two sisters held gazes once again, and then Saya spoke.

“Lexa was born to be a leader. She’s powerful, smart, wise, she has a gift for fighting. I am a healer. I help people, I save lives.”

“I take them.”

“Lexa, please, stop.”

“I’m not ashamed of who I am, Saya. I do what I must to save my people.”

“I know you aren’t.", Saya said softly. She looked at Clarke, and then bac at her sister, sighing.

"That’s not the point. We’re explaining things to Clarke right now, we’re not fighting on this again.”

The blonde shifted on her seat, uncomfortable with the way the conversation was going.

“Every single person here is a demon",Saya continued. "Except for the rare persons that have a twin and are the soft one. Like me.”

“Do you mean that you are an Arker?”Clarke's eyes widdened.

“No! No. I’m an angel. My blood is the demon’s ones. It’s just about my nature. My soul. And…Well, and my wings.”

She took a deep breath and focused, letting beautiful pure white wings come out to their sight.

“Wow…”

The blonde was mesmerized. The wings were exactly like Lexa’s, the same shape, the same size, the same type of feathers, but white instead of black.

“You two really do have beautiful wings, that’s incredible…I’ve never seen such a thing before.”

Lexa smiled shyly. “It’s rare, but not unheard of. We know of two other pairs of true twins within the coalition."

The young woman nodded thoughtfully, still eyeing the white feathers with nostalgia. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 Two days later, Clarke was speaking with Raven as they walked in the streets when they saw Saya coming towards them, wearing a long black dress contrasting with her wings, her chestnut curls pulled into a single side braid, her feet bare as always.

“Clarke. I was looking for you, Lexa wants you to go the council room.”

She raised an eyebrow.

“I’m not allowed there.”

“Apparently it’s about the Ark. You should go.”

She met Raven’s eyes, and the girl nodded to her to go.

“I’ll see you later Clarkey.”

They exchanged small smiles and the blonde headed towards the council tent. She hesitated for a little while when she arrived. She was about to give up and go away when she heard Lexa’s voice calling.

“Clarke? You may enter.”

_How the hell did she know I was there?_

She stepped inside and took a moment to adjust to the low light of the candles around the dark room before she let her eyes wander around the people sitting. The ambassadors of the twelve clans were there, looking at her with mistrust for some, curiosity for others, or even hatred for the Azgeda warrior.

“You may sit, Clarke kom Arkkru.”

The blonde walked carefully around the table, sitting in the empty seat across from her Match.

“As I was telling you before, Clarke has passed the Moon’s test three days ago and succeeded. She is the Arker that arrived the more recently, which is why she is going to help us.”

Green eyes stared intently at each face of the warriors.

“Let us begin. Clarke, another one of our warriors has been killed this morning by his soulmate from the Ark. Those things have been happening for centuries, but now that we have the coalition our armies are strong enough to march on the people that hide Inside. My people seek revenge.”

The blonde stared at her hands, swallowing. Of course she didn’t want to see the place she had grown up in destroyed, all the people she had lived with her whole life killed. How could they ask for her help?

“I believe that the problem is ignorance. The Arkers do not know what is supposed to happen in the circle. But we can’t and won’t ever be able to enter Inside because of the shield spell. It is supposed to protect the angels from the demons. It was created by the very first angels, in a time were demons were seeking blood and power so much that they had lost all control. This has been over for a very long time.”

Clarke lifted her gaze to meet a green one.

“I don’t know what you want me to do. If you are telling the truth, I can’t enter anymore. I’m a demon now.”

“We are well aware. But you seem to have already forgotten about Saya.”

The blonde’s eyes widened in realization.

“You surely know that this is extremely risky..."

“That’s why we need you, Clarke.”

"You cant possibly want to send you own sister-"

"I love all of my people the same", Lexa said, her mask in place. "I can't show any favoritism and risk the life of thousands just to not risk one."

Behind the stone-like face, Clarke searched for something that would show the fear for her sister. 

“Your knowledge about the people and the place could help us know how to minimize the risks. We need to find a way to get her Inside, to get people to trust her and to get out, or destroy their shield. Then I will talk to their leader.”

“This is crazy”, Clarke muttered under her breath.

“What did you say, Arker?”

The Azgeda ambassador said viciously, his cold grey eyes piercing into Clarke’s.

“Nothing. I just don’t know how to help you.”

She turned to look at her soulmate once again. As all of the eyes were focused on Clarke, the commander had allowed worry and far to slip for a fort time into her eyes. Clarke took a deep breath, promising herself to do everything she could to prevent Lexa's sister from harm.

“Where should we start?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a question: do you guys still get emails about updates? I think I've got a problem with the website...  
> Apart from that, thanks for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

Clarke was back with Raven a few hours later. The meeting had not been fruitful, and they still didn’t know how they were going to get Saya Inside. The two women were sitting at the edge of the village, watching seven children playing between the trees and the houses. Raven had a small smile, something very rare for the sassy woman.

A dark blonde little girl with big green eyes was running after a young boy, the two of them laughing, as the others were cheering. There was such a good feeling watching this, innocence, just young kids playing and having fun.

“Are you scared Ravy?”

A tall and skinny blond boy shouted, his black eyes shining with amusement. The dark haired little boy showed him his tongue, picking up his running to escape from the little girl. He was laughing so hard and focusing so much on his purchaser and friends that he didn’t realize he was running right into Clarke. He bumped into her and fell back on his ass.

“Uh…” He looked at the blonde, his eyes widening in realization. The other children were frozen, even the blonde girl had stopped to watch the scene. His blue eyes were full of fear.

“I’m so sorry! Please don’t tell Heda!”

He moved to get on his knees and stared at the ground. Horrified, Clarke lifted his chin with a gentle finger.

“Hey, It’s okay I promise. You have nothing to fear from me. Come on, stand up.”

Ravy stood up, still shaking a little bit, and stared right into the blonde’s eyes. She felt as if she could see right into her soul. It had been a long time since she had had such an encounter with a child, and she felt like everything was so simple and vulnerable. _Life shouldn’t be that complicated._ Children were the proof of that.

She stood up and took his hand. He kept looking up at her as she walked with him, joining the 6 other children. Raven was watching her, amused. But most of all, and Clarke was unaware of that, familiar green eyes were watching her from afar.

“Do you guys want me to play with you?” They seemed to be hesitating, but Ravy smiled at them.

“She can be trusted. She promised.”

The blonde girl, who seemed to be the leader of the small group, looked at the others and then at the blonde. She nodded slowly.

“Okay, then I guess you can.” Raven turned around at hearing footsteps. Lexa was coming over. The dark eyed woman stood up and left, letting the soulmates. Clarke grinned when she saw her Match, her beautiful orbs brilliant. At first, the little ones were reticent, not wanting to disrespect the commander. But soon, they were running, laughing, chased by the two women. They played together all afternoon. They faked being Indians from the old world. Two clans in war against each other, Clarke and Lexa each the leader of one team. In the end, Lexa’ team won, and the brunette ended up god knows how on top of Clarke, pinning her to the ground. Their laughter died slowly as they gazed into each other’s eyes, not really caring about the excited children around them. Clarke really wanted to kiss those pump lips at that moment.

When the sun went down, the younger kids went back home. That left Ravy, the blonde little girl and the tall boy. The five of them all lied under the night sky. There was a shooting star. Lexa discretely linked her fingers with Clarke. She whispered, low enough for the kids not to hear.

“Make a wish, Clarke.” The blonde looked at the brunette.

“What do you mean?”

“When there is a shooting star, the tradition is to make a wish.”

She smiled sweetly as Clarke focused her gaze back on the moon.

“My wish is-“

“Don’t! It is bad luck to tell what you have wished.”

Clarke seemed confused, but she nodded.

“Clarke, can you tell us a story?” Ravy had sat up and was looking at the blonde, a hopeful expression on his face full of freckles.

“Oh yes! Please, tell us about the Ark!”

The blonde little girl, Anouk, had joined the pleading.

“Gael? Is that okay with you?”

She looked at the tall boy, who nodded, a small grin on his lips.

“Alright. Life Inside is…different.”

She looked at hers and Lexa’s fingers, still linked.

“When I was maybe eight, Anouk’s age, I was told about the Matches. But the beliefs on the Ark are false. My teacher, Professor Pike, told us that we had to kill our Match in order to survive. I was so scared. I didn’t want to ever leave the safety of Inside, I thought people Outside were savages. I think that it was the purpose. They needed people Inside to be afraid of Outside, so that they would stay.”

There was a small pause as Clarke gathered her memories silently.

“We didn’t have much space, so we would run in the corridors, and the guards would yell at us. I wasn’t much of a trouble maker, but I had some friends who were. I remember that one day, to get her revenge on a guard who had been mean to her, my best friend Octavia had hidden all of his clothes in the trash. Very funny day.”

They all giggled. Even Lexa. Gael lied back.

“Is she still alive?”

Clarke smirked.

“It’s Octavia we’re talking about. Hell yes, she is.”

“Clarke. Language.”

The blonde rolled her eyes, making the little ones giggle.

“We’re not done hearing about her. She’ll arrive with her twin brother in two days.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

**15 years ago**

 

_Clarke Griffin was 3 years old when she first met Octavia. They were in Kindergarten, and the first day, they had to draw Outside. Clarke drew trees and birds, a blue sky and clouds, things that she learned about in the stories her father told her. Raven drew bad demons who looked pretty awful, and Bellamy small animals he had seen in a book with pictures. And then there was Octavia who had drawn herself with dark wings and a big goofy smile on her face._

_The teacher, Andre, had frowned at seeing the drawing._

_"Is that you Octavia?"_

_"Yeah, me! Outside!"_

_"You know little one, Outside is a very dangerous place."_

_"Octavia is couwageous! Me, I like wunning. Octavia is the fist one who will wun Outside."_

_Her friends giggled at that, knowing all too well how much the girl loved running._

 

* * *

 

 

“What does she look like? Does she have blonde hair, like me?”

Anouk asked with a tiny voice.

“No, she is a brunette.  Why?”

“Heda’s a brunette. I feel like no strong leader can be blonde. I want my hair color to be brown.”

She pouted. Clarke felt kind of offended, but she didn’t say anything. Lexa did.

“The color of the hair has nothing to do with leader skills. Blonde hair is rare within the clans and they are mostly from Azgeda, that’s why few leaders are blonde in the coalition. But you’re wrong when you say blondes aren’t strong. Look at Clarke. She’s born to lead.”

Clarke looked at her soulmate, surprised.

“Do you really think so?”

Lexa smiled.

“I wouldn’t dream of lying to you, hodness.”

“What does it mean?”

“What are you talking about?”

“The world you just said. Honess?”

Anouk giggled.

“Hodness. You’ve got a funny accent. It means-“

she was stopped by Lexa.

“Alright, it’s getting late, go back to your families, yogons.”

The blonde woman watched the three children stand up and leave towards the village, Anouck holding the two boy’s hands.

“Why did you not want her to tell me what it means?”

Feeling the teasing, the brunette elbowed her Match.

“I’ll tell you someday.”

She grinned and put a dark blonde strand behind the girl’s ear.

“But today is not that day. Come one, let’s get back.”

She took her hand and helped her up. They went back to the commander’s tent that night, their hands linked, their cheeks flushed, looking so much like a normal couple falling in love.

 

* * *

 

 

 When she woke up the next morning, she felt like she was in acocoon. She was surrounded by some warm stuff, and it was so dark that she couldn’t see a thing. She pushed her hands forward, but nothing happened. She stroked what she thought was a wall, and then realized it was not. It was soft. Feathers.

“Lexa. Lexa!” She pushed with more force, and the wings that were around her soon opened. She breathed deeply and looked at the brunette, who looked sleepy and apologetic.

“I’m so so-“

“Don’t. I think it was actually cute. I was just surprised. You’re very protective.”

The blonde smiled and got up, her Match blushing hard.

“Octavia is arriving tomorrow. We should get ready for the storm.", Clarke smirked.

 

* * *

 

**11 years ago**

_The kids were 7 when they made their first attempt at going Outside. They didn't really understand the gravity of the act, and they were following Octavia, whose biggest dream was to get out from what she thought was a prison._

_Clarke had ended up with a broken leg that day, the plan to get the doors to open and play for a while before getting back with no one noticing proving itself to not be as good as they thought._

* * *

 

 

We should plan how to get Saya Inside today.”, Lexa said softly.

They stood up, the brunette rubbing her eyes with the back of her hands. _She’s so cute_.

After freshing up and putting on some other clothes, they went to the meeting tent. Half of the ambassadors were already there, and the others were slowly arriving. When the last one was sitting, Lexa spoke up.

“Today we are going to discuss the plan to get Saya Inside. Just so everyone remembers, we want her to teach them the truth, to get them to trust us enough to get out and talk with me or to let the shield keeping us from entering down. Any questions about that?”

No answers.

“Now that this is clear, does anyone have suggestions?”

The plains riders’ ambassador stood up. The woman was tall, had strong muscles, dark blonde hair and beautiful dark green eyes.

“I heard that two Arkers are going to be at the Circle tomorrow. Saya could go instead of one of their soulmates. The angel could bring her back with them.”

Clarke shook her head.

“I would never do that to Octavia, she deserves to live here with her Match. But Bellamy is dangerous. He would kill so easily for his sister. It’s not safe for Saya to trust him.”

Lexa’s worry was back full force, as much as she was trying to hide it.

“Thank you for trying, Lise.”

The woman nodded once and sat down once again.

“Any other ideas?”

“Maybe I should just go to the doors with her”, Clarke said. “They know me. If I keep my wings Inside and they see her white ones, they’ll open the doors. I will make them believe that she is entering first, and once she’s in, I’ll leave.”

The commander looked thoughtful, considering the options.

“It could still be dangerous. For the both of you. What if you can’t keep your wings Inside long enough? You only just turned into a demon. It can’t be easy. They could kill you Clarke, and her also since she was your ally.”

“I can train. If you give me more time, I can train to keep them in. If any of you have a better idea, please just tell me.”

Silence. Lexa sighed.

“Then Clarke’s plan it is. Meeting is over.”

The room emptied, worried whispers exchanged between the ambassadors. When the two soulmates were left alone, Lexa sighed and took Clarke’s hand.

“You shouldn’t have said that, Clarke. I would have looked weak if I had opposed myself to this plan just because of the risk. But I can’t lose any of you. That was foolish to put your life at risk like that.”

“I’m not going to say I’m sorry Lexa. I mean, I’m sorry to hurt you, I’m sorry that you’re scared, but I’m not sorry for proposing that plan. I want to stop this war. And I won’t hide just so you know I’m safe, because I know you won’t hide for me to know you are.”

They stared into each other’s eyes for a moment. A pure second of understanding, their two souls one like it was supposed to be, their hearts beating together.

 

* * *

 

 

 Later that day, in the middle of the afternoon, Clarke was playing with the children of the village once again. There were more this time, the word of Heda’s Match playing with little ones spreading very fast. It was summer and the sun was very high in the sky, making the kids’ skin covered by sweat. They were playing in the valley not very far. Clarke caught Anouk as she arrived below after rolling. Her hair was full of grass and her clothes of dirt, but she had a big goofy smile on her cute face. She laughed as the woman tickled her. Ravy throw them a full fist of grass and Clarke’s mouth opened wide.

“This is war!”

Clarke smiled sweetly as a new memory popped out at the front of her mind.

 

* * *

 

**7 years ago**

_"11 years old, and still complete immature idiots!"_

_The cook of the school's canteen was a fat and not nice looking woman, always yelling on kids and groaning that she hated her work. When she terrified most of the children, she was a clear source of amusement for a certain group of them._

_Raven chuckled lowly as she went to the table where her friends were sitting. She winked at Clarke and took Octavia's chocolate cake, eating it while the girl was at the toilets. When the brunette came back and realised her dessert had been stolen, the raven haired teenager couldn't help but giggle. Octavia, annoyed more than amused, put her bread in Raven's glass, preventing her from drinking. Clarke laughed and Raven glared at her, throwingsome yogourt in her way with the spoon she was holding. Bellamy raised his hands defencively but soon he was covered with noodles, and Octavia shouted._

_"This is war!"_

_They all got dentetion as the issue of this friendly little fight, but they were used to it._

 

* * *

 

 

Ravy screamed playfully and took his three years old little sister’s hand, running with her to hide behind a tree. All children were shouting, giggling, so excited that Clarke was sure her ears were going to break.

"There's an age when children can't have a day without screaming their lungs out...", she complained to Raven.

She took Anouk on her back and Gael followed, his hands full of grass. They threw themselves at the little ones who were very badly hidden, covering their little heads with dirt and grass. At the end of the game, the adult couldn’t feel her legs anymore, her clothes were all dirty, her hair full of knots and she was exhausted, but she was so happy to see the joy in the children’s eyes.

The group went back to the village all together, and the kids eventually got back home. When they were only Ravy, his little sister Jade and Anouk left, she let out a sigh out of relief.

“Can you take us back home? Please say yes, Ravy and Jade live two tents away from mine!”

“The others went back alone, I can't show favoritism."

"This is no favoritism since we like you the most!"

Clarke giggled as seeing the pleeding look on the round face of the blonde girl. She sighed.

"If you promise that you are going to behave when Octavia arrives tomorrow, then yes.”

“Sha!”, they exclamed at the same time, before looking at each other and giggling.

They discussed while walking, Clarke carrying the tired Jade in her arms, and soon they arrived. She placed a kiss on their frontheads.

“Bye sweethearts!”

Ravy waved his hand and entered his family’s tent with his sister. Anouk hugged Clarke.

“Anouk?", a strangely familiar voice called.

"Oh, you’re back! Who is this- Clarke?”

The blonde woman lifted her head to meet a green gaze.

“Saya. You know her?”

She gestured to the little girl in her arms.

“Of course she does, silly. She’s my mom.”

“Oh, really?”

She stared at Saya and then at Anouk.

“Apart from the eyes, you don’t really look like each other.”

“Her father was blonde, had her round face and pale skin.”

“Was?”

“Dad died when I was very little.”

“I’m sorry.”

Anouk took her arms off of Clarke and joined her mom, who picked her up.

“Thank you for taking care of her, Clarke.”

“That’s normal."

Clarke tried to formulate the question that was tickling her tongue.

"Do you- I mean, you're an angel. But do you have a soulmate in the Ark? Or was Anouk's father not your soulmate...?"

"I did have a soulmate. His name was Peter, he came from the Ark and died during the war aggainst Azgeda 3 years ago."

Her eyes were nostalgic and full of love as she spoke, her arms tightening around the only thing she had left of the other half of her soul. Clarke let her a moment, before she nodded and threw a last sglance at Anouk.

"Good night.", she whispered.

Saya nodded and turned around, closing the door. Clarke went back to Lexa’s – no, their – tent, feeling surprised and disappointed at lexa. The brunette was sitting on the bed, and she looked up from her book when her Match entered, smiling warmly at her. Her expression quickly dropped though, when she noticed Clarke’s mood.

“What are you upset about, niron?”

“Nothing.”

“Come on Clarke. Tell me, please.”

She stood up and went to Clarke, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder.

“You didn’t tell me you were an aunt.”

Confusion passed on the older woman’s face, then it turned into realization.

“You will soon learn that some things are better kept secret, Clarke. I am trying to keep her from being a target. It is true, I should have told you, but I have to be careful to hide my family from hypocrite gazes who are only waiting for a moment of weakness to strike me down.""

Clarke didn’t know how to answer that. She had clearly overreacted, and she knew it. She took Lexa’s hand on her shoulder between both of hers, and gave her a small smile.

“I didn’t know. I should have- I mean, I understand.”

The brunette looked so relieved for a second.

“Don’t worry, it’s my fault.”

"Are you-I mean, if we have children some day, are going to hide them away?"

"I can't keep such big secrets from my people Clarke, but I will die before harm will be made to my family."

“You know Lexa…I think someday I might want children. Because I like them. I like their energy, their innocence, the happiness they bring with them. And…I like you. Like, really like you.”

In the rush of the moment, the brunette hugged Clarke. To say the blonde was surprised was an understatement. Of course they always ended up cuddling during the night, and they were touchy whenever they were alone, but a hug like that had never happened. Overwhelmed, the blonde slowly circled Lexa’s shoulder as the other woman’s arms went around her waist.

Difficult days were coming. But they had each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the link to a post on my tumblr where you can see the faces of Anouk and Ravy: http://camillethewritter.tumblr.com/post/147792380991/these-are-what-ravy-and-anouck-look-like-meet
> 
> I hope you enjoy the story guys, have a good day/night!


	6. AUTHOR NOTE

I am not receiving a lot of response for this story lately, and comments are what gives me inspiration...

So I don't want to be annoying or anything really, but I am going to lose interest in this fic soon if people do. I don't know if you guys are disappointed in where this is going or if you simply don't want to comment, but I would like to know. If you don't plan on reading this, there's no use for me to keep sharing new chapters, so yeah just tell me if I should continue or not...

Sorry for those who thought this was a chapter!  
Have a good day/night. :)

 

* * *

 

 

So, I actually followed the advices that were given to me by some of you guys, and edited some things (escpecially chapter 4 and 5, the last which you should probably read again since I added some explanations and flashbacks. It's not absolutely necessary to understand what is going to come next, but it could be used. Your choice ;)).

Thank you all for your support, and for those who were disappointed in me, well I'm sorry.

I'll try and stick to a schedule for updates, I will probably update twice a week (I still don't know on which days exactly though.)

May we meet again :).


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made a very quick editing but I didn't have a lot of time and I'm leaving tomorrow morning on hollidays for a week (so basically today is packing and preparing everything). I wanted to share the next chapter with you before leaving, so that you wouldn't be waiting for too long. Anyway, sorry for mistakes or bad written sentences, I'll probably edit when I come back.
> 
> Thanks for those who are still enjoying and commenting, I think I pretty much said everything I wanted to say previously and I'm just not going to talk about it any further on this chapter. 
> 
> For those who were wondering why the Blakes don't have an angel and a demon in the pair, that's because they are not identical twins ;)
> 
> Enjoy :)

Clarke was sitting on the grass, hiding at the edge of the forest, the Circle in her line of sight. Echo and Lincoln were standing there, side by side, both obviously nervous. Lexa was kneeling next to Clarke, keeping her weapons at bay just in case.

They had been waiting for almost two hours now, and were growing restless. Raven was playing with her watch next to her friend, one of the rare technologic things she had access to, trying to get it to do other things that showing what time of the day it was.

Lexa was about to suggest going back to the village when they heard faint voices. Two teenagers were walking side by side, emerging from the trees. A girl, and a boy. They stopped talking as the boy drew his gun. They went closer to the circle.

Bellamy entered the Circle first and aimed his gun, shooting immediately. Everybody screamed, the three women running out of the trees.

“What is happening?”

Lincoln caught Echo as she lost her balance, the bullet in her left arm. Clarke rushed to Bellamy and put her finger on his arm. She took his gun and threw it away. He didn’t react.

“Clarke? What the- You were dead!”

He stared at his sister, panicked. She was in Raven’s arms, looking as confused as her brother.

“Are we all dead?!”

“Nobody’s dead. Don’t freak out. We have much to tell you Bell.”

Lexa looked at him. She already didn’t like the way Clarke and him seemed to be too close. She didn’t like her nickname for him. She didn’t like Bellamy.  
Echo groaned in pain as Lincoln pressed his hands against the wound, trying to keep the blood inside.

“Can you walk back?”

Echo nodded weakly. Lexa focused on her Match then and put her arm around her waist, eyeing Bellamy warningly as she did. The blonde looked at her, confused, and then realization washed over her pretty features. She put her mouth on the brunette’s ear and whispered only for her to hear.

“Bellamy is just a childhood friend, Lexa. You don’t have to be jealous.”

“I’m not jealous.”

“Sure you’re not.”

She smirked. Lexa groaned at being mocked, and then looked at the group. Octavia was staring at Lincoln with an indescribable expression on her face.

“We have to get back to the village to get Echo to a healer.”

Clarke nodded and tried to get rid of Lexa’s hold to go help Lincoln with Echo but the brunette tightened her grip.   
This was going to be a long day.

***

When they arrived at the village, Echo was as pale as a ghost and Bellamy was growing restless.

“Could someone please tell me what the hell is going on?”

Clarke sighed and gave him a pleading look.

“Please just be patient. Your soulmate needs surgery.”

“Soulmate? Clarke you can’t leave me after saying stuffs like that! I want to unders-“

He stopped as Lexa’s cold features appeared in front of him. Her voice was possessive of the blonde, full of hatred, almost like a snake.

“Quiet yourself, Arker. You’re not in position to want anything here. Clarke, I don’t want you anywhere near that foolish boy anymore.”

The commander took her girl’s wrist and dragged her a bit roughly away from the fuming Bellamy. As soon as they were far enough from the Blakes siblings, Clarke got her hand back.

“Lexa- You can’t order me around like that.”

“Actually, that’s not right. I can. I am Heda, I can do whatever I want to, and you are my Match. By the will of gods, you basically belong to me.”

The brunette was still feeling jealousy everywhere in her veins, burning her from inside.

“That was a big mistake Lexa. You really shouldn’t have said that.”

The young woman was hurt in her pride, and she turned around, ignoring the green eyes staring at her back as she walked away.

 

Later that day, when Echo was out of surgery and explaining everything to Bellamy, Clarke went to greet Octavia. The brunette was in Lincoln’ tent, talking quietly with Raven, her Match watching them with soft eyes.

“Hey, O.”

She gave her friend a small smile and hugged her tightly.

“I missed you, you crazy.”

Octavia smirked and elbowed her friend.

“I was going to say I did too, but thinking about it…”

Raven giggled and Clarke glared at her playfully. They went like that for an hour, catching up, joking around.

“Anya should be done with training by now. I gotta go.”

Raven embraced the two women before exiting the tent.

“Shouldn’t you go see Heda? She doesn’t like to wait.”

Clarke looked at Lincoln.

“Yeah, sure. “

She smiled and left. She actually had no intention of going back to Lexa after their fight, but wanted the two soulmates to have some time to learn to know each other.

She walked in the streets until she arrived at the edge of the forest, where the children often played. As she thought they would be, the little ones were running there, playing some game of warriors riding dragons and fighting monsters. The blonde sat down and watched them be for a moment, before Anouck finally spotted her. She smiled widely and started running towards her, but Ravi was coming from the opposite direction and they bumped into each other.

Clarke rushed to the little girl whose grip around the new scratch on her knee was tight enough to know she was trying to keep her tears at bay.

“Are you okay?”

The woman kneeled next to the blonde girl and took a look at the leg.

“This is just a scratch. It hurts, I know, but you’re going to be fine.”

Anouck offered a weak smile, her first attempt to reassure Ravi who was apologizing like crazy, panicking next to them.

“Don’t worry Ra’. I’m okay.”

He nodded and helped her to get back on her feet.

“Do you want to come with me to the medical tent so I can take care of your knee quickly?”

The green eyed girl nodded and smiled at the adult, taking her hand and following her to the tent as the other kids started playing again.  
They stayed silent as the woman applied some medicine on the bleeding wound, humming softly to keep the child’s mind distracted from the slight pain. Anouck stared at the older blonde, observing carefully the work of her skilled hands. It was one of this peaceful and domestic moment, so rare in life, that make people grow closer.

After a moment, Clarke was putting on a small bandage to prevent infection.  
“Do you think I could be a good healer?”

The woman didn’t answer for a moment, looking into those clear green eyes.

“I think you could be anything you want to be, Anouck. You’re smart, you’re strong, you’ve got more imagination than anyone I have ever met before…Really, I think you could be anything.”

She smiled.

“I always thought I would be a warrior, just like my father. Mum tells me stories about him, sometimes, and about Heda. She’s a member of my family you know, that means maybe I can be as good of a warrior as she is someday.”

“If being a warrior is your dream, then I think you should go for it.”

“I wouldn’t say it is my dream. I think it is what I wanted to be. But now I wish I could be a healer.”

Clarke smiled gently and gave some water to the dark blonde girl.

“Mum is a healer. Did you know?”

“Yes I did. Actually, I am a healer myself.”

“I know. And…That’s why I wanted to ask you something.”

Blue eyes lifted up to meet green ones.

“Go ahead, sweetie.”

“Do you think I could become your apprentice?”

The woman was stunned for a moment.

“I would love to be your mentor Anouck, but I am far from being the best healer here. Nykko is. Plus I wouldn’t want to make your mother upset.”

“She wouldn’t be upset! I talked with her. She likes you I think. And she is going to go to Arkadia so she can’t teach me.”

Clarke nodded, still not sure about it. Saya wasn’t her biggest fan, she was protective of her sister and the blonde didn’t know how to approach the woman.

“And Nykko is the less funny person here. Seriously.”

The adult giggled at that and messed the child’s braids by passing her hand on them.

“Okay. You should come see me tomorrow morning. We’ll start then.”

The excited six years old hugged the woman, a big grin on her round cheeks. The moment was soon interrupted though, as they heard the tent flap and Lexa entered.

“I was told you were here.”

“Who told you?”

“Doesn’t matter. I’d like to speak with you.”

“Then speak.”

The commander’s expression softened at the hurtful tone of the blonde.

“Alone, Clarke. Please.”

Clarke held her head high as she asked the little girl to go join the others quietly. She got a kiss on the cheek and a warm smile, before she turned to look at her soulmate. She stood up to face her.

“So?”

The Heda seemed to be preparing herself, taking a deep breath and avoiding her gaze.

“I came to apologize. I shouldn’t have said what I did. I was angry.”

“Bellamy was confused and scared. He did nothing to get you angry enough to talk to me like you did.”

“I know that, and I’m sorry for disrespecting you, I didn’t mean what I said.”

“Admit it, Lexa. You were jealous.”

Clarke’s face was dead serious when she spoke the accusation this time.

“I…”

The young woman waited for a moment for her Match to explain herself, but she was greeted with silence. Her gaze dropped and she turned around, busying herself with ordering the shelves of the medical tent, disappointed and upset at Lexa. She didn’t want them to but her tears were coming up in her eyes, making them shine.

“Clarke please. I’m sorry.”

A tentative hand settled over her shoulder.

“You’re right. I was jealous.”

There was a small silence as the words echoed between them. Slowly, the blonde turned around and blue met green.

“Then please stop being jealous of Bellamy. I told you, I like you. And Bellamy is my friend. You’ve got nothing to fear from him.”

“I can’t help myself.”

“Why, Lexa? Can’t you just trust me?” There was frustration and sadness in the young demon’s voice.

“I do trust you, Clarke. It’s him I don’t trust.”

Clarke sighed and put her hand on the commander’s cheek, her gaze softening.

“Please stop worrying over this. I swear to you, Bellamy’s not a threat to…uh…Whatever this is.”

She gestured to the space between them awkwardly, and Lexa smiled. Of course she did.

 

***

 

There were so many stars in the sky that night that the fire in the middle of the camp was almost useless in providing light.  
Clarke and Lexa were eating some of the meat the hunters had brought, sitting with the children on the roves of a big tree at the entrance of a village. They were calmer than they usually were, Lexa’s presence being the reason for this sudden obedience.  
The blonde woman was smiling warmly at one of Ravi’s jokes, listening to the cute laughs of the children around them, and she just felt happy. Her head was leaning against the commander’s shoulder, whose hands were running through the sun colored hair tenderly. Anouck was on Clarke’s lap, playing with her shirt and stealing pieces of meat from her plate. The camp was peaceful and people were talking quietly, enjoying a nice evening in spring for once.  
The only restless person was Bellamy, who couldn’t calm down since Echo had told him about the Moon ceremony they were going to pass a month later. The young man couldn’t help but worry about his sister, and Clarke knew he was probably planning something to get her out of harm’s way. But there was nothing he could do to avoid destiny, and they had bigger concerns. Like the war, that was brewing between Inside and Outside, or like Saya’s safety when she would infiltrate the Ark.  
The young woman closed her eyes and inhaled slowly. She wouldn’t let those dark thoughts bring back this insecure feeling in the front of her mind. Not tonight. She had some peace with people she cared about, for now.

 

***

 

When Clarke woke up the next morning, Lexa wasn’t in the bed anymore, and the sheets on her side were cold. The blonde dressed quickly and got out, looking for her soulmate. She knew if she had to leave so early it must have been for a meeting or an emergency, so she went to the meeting tent.  
As predicted, the ambassadors were gathered, Lexa at the edge of the table, Saya standing next to her. Two pairs of green eyes stared at her when she stepped inside.

“Clarke”, Lexa spoke with an even voice, but her eyes shining with a new light at the sight of the blonde.

“You arrive right on time. The ice queen has heard of Echo’s injury, and demands justice. Echo has begged us to not kill Bellamy, and to let him pass the Moon test. We voted yes. But if we don’t want the ice nation to leave the coalition and to declare a war against us, we need to tame the Ark. That’s why we have to put our plan in march sooner than expected. Saya is going to infiltrate the Ark tomorrow, and you will have to be ready. Today you will train, and learn to keep your new wings inside.”

The blonde let the information settle in. Tomorrow. 

“Maybe I should not waste any time and start right about now.”

The commander nodded, and then gestured to the others in the room.

“Leave us.”

Everyone left the room, except for the two soulmates.

“We are going to train by the river. The wind is still too cold for anyone to be swimming there, so we should be left alone.”

 

***

 

“Ahh!”

Clarke groaned as her wings got out of her skin so fast that she was pushed forward. Her knees were bent by the impact and she tried to soften the fall with her hands but she ended up scratching the skin of her palms. 

“Let’s try again.”

Blue eyes lifted up to see Lexa’s offered hand.

“I can’t. It’s too painful.”

“Yes you can.”

Almost roughly, the commander grabbed her wrist and pulled her on her feet. 

“Please, can I take a break.”

“It is when you are going to be so tired that you think you are going to break that you will manage, Clarke. Try again.”

The blonde exhaled loudly and shook her head, exhausted.

“No.”

The brunette took her soulmate’s chin between her fingers and forced her to look at her. It wasn’t Lexa standing before her anymore. Those dark eyes were Heda’s.  
“Clarke”, she said, with a deep commanding voice that seemed to not be hers. “Try again.”

“…Lexa I-“

“Get those wings inside of your back. Now.”

The blonde was about to protest when a scream of pain got out of her mouth. Her body wasn’t answering to her brain anymore, it was obeying Lexa’s command. She dropped onto her knees once more and her head fell downwards, some unknown force making her submit to the leader, to the stronger power.  
Her wings retracted and she shook, moaning in pain in her crazy suffering. When they were fully in, the skin started closing over them, but the blonde’s breath was still ragged. Lexa didn’t release her though, even until it was over.

“Now I want you to stay that way.”

The brunette let go of her chin and took a step back. Strangely, Clarke could feel her grip on her even if they weren’t touching. It was like Lexa was in control of her actions.

After a few agonizing minutes, the shaking of her limbs slowly faded, and the pain stopped completely. Amazed, the blonde finally met Lexa’s eyes.  
“How…?”

The commander stared at her softly and put her fingers on Clarke’s forehead.

“I release you, Clarke.”

With a sigh, Clarke felt the tight grip on her mind loosen, and then disappear. But her wings were still inside and yet there was no pain.  
She tentatively tried to let them out, and slowly they got out. Still no pain.

Blue met green once again, and the brunette rushed to Clarke, warping her hands around her Match’s face and looking for any sign of any that could have remained. Her voice was shaky and her eyes watering a little, regret painted all over her face.

“I am so so sorry Clarke, but it had to be done. Trust me I didn’t want to.”

She caressed the skin of her cheek and passed her fingers through the girl’s golden locks, closing her eyes and taking in the nice perfume of her Match. Clarke raised her head to look at the woman. She let the back of her hand sooth her hardened jaw.

“Don’t worry, it’s okay. I know it must have been hard. Thank you.”

Suddenly, the commander’s arms were around the other girl’s torso and they hugged each other, hearts free of their burden, like there was no tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter won't be up before at least the 10th, sorry guys.   
> Until next time, may we meet again ;)


	8. AUTHOR NOTE

I'm so sorry that I have to disappoint some people with an author note again, and not a chapter (I swear I hate it when authors do that so yeah, really sorry).

I just got back from hollidays (I was camping in the moutains, so no way to access internet or even send messages) and my computer is appearently dead, which is really annoying considering that I had the five next chapters for this story (and some for my others too) written there.

So it's going to take a little longer than I'd want, and again I'm sorry. But I am not giving up on this and will keep going no matter what!  
For those who still read this fanfic, I hope you guys are doing well, I love you all :)

May we meet again

FCD


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit of Clexa, Saya and Clarke (what should be their name of bromance? Claya? Sarke?) get to talk and bound a little, then they try to get Saya Inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's not at all what I had planned and written before, I don't know where I'm going really, I hope you like it anyway!  
> I still have some editing to do on this one, so be gentle ;)  
> hope you enjoy!

Getting Saya Inside turned out to be much less complicated than she tought it would be, but now that she was staring at the Ark from the bushes where she was hiding,  she didn't know what to think. Pride for succeeding the mission, or fear for her soulmate's twin's life?

* * *

 

**_6 hours ago // Ton DC_ **

 

Clarke was sitting on the bed she shared with Lexa, trying very hard to distract her mind from going back to these dark thougts about what could happen to Saya. She knew her people feared the unknown, and even though the girl was an angel, they didn't know her.

She was lacing her boots tighter than before (for what was probably the fifth time) when the tent oppened to let a smooth and gracefull shadow enter silently.

"Saya."

The blonde's eyes met the other girl's familiar yet foreign ones.

"What is it?"

Lexa's sister walked further into the tent, the eye contact forgotten as she studied intently her surroundings.

"This tent hasn't changed a bit, yet it feels so different."

To say Clarke was confused would be an understatement. She kept herself from asking again what the woman was doing here, not wanting to sound rude, and watched her calmly instead.

"I have watched you Clarke. Studied you."

She came to a stop near the chair where Lexa's nightgown was hanging.

"I think you're good for her."

She turned around to have her gaze directed on Clarke.

"Don't make me regret those thoughts, Skai gada. I need to be able to trust you."

Under such a powerful and intense gaze, Clarke was tempte to look down at her sweaty hands, but she didn't. She didn't, and she accepted the taller girl's challenge by standing in front of her. Minutes passed by, and the two women stared at each other, trying to decipher what would be the other's next move, when Lexa entered the tent.

"What's going on here?"

Saya was he first to break the eye contact to look at her sister instead, with a little smile playing on her lips.

"Clarke passed the test. She's worthy."

The blonde frowned and looked between them.

"A test? I'm sorry, what are you even talking about?"

"Saya please..."

One twin looked smug and satisfied, while the other looked worried and mortified.

"I'd even say...I like this one. Keep her."

With that, the brunette healer smirked one last time and got out. 

"O...kay...Well, I used to think she was shy. Is this really Saya?"

At that, Lexa couldn't hold back her laugh. And that sound was so free of burden and so full of joy, that Clarke wouldn't councile her own grin.

 

* * *

 

 

**_4 hours ago // Ton DC_ **

 

"I don't want to be alone."

Anouck's teary pout had Clarke kneeling before her, taking those small hands between her bigger ones.

"You won't be strik gada. We'll come back."

"Nomon won't."

"She will, An. You need to have faith in her."

She shook her little head, and her blonde curls went flying around her rosy cheeks.

"If neither of you come back, I will be alone. I don't want to be alone."

Clarke sighed and went to sit on a wooden bench at the edge of the forest, the little girl climbing on her lap afterwards.

"I'll be back by nightfall. That's a promise I'm making to you."

"What about nomon?"

"I will protect her."

"You can't protect her when you're with me."

As much as Clarke wanted to reassure her, she didn't want to lie. There was a risk for them to get killed, a risk for those young green eyes to never see again the person who she got them from. She stroked the soft blonde hair and felt the girl snuggle her cheek against her shoulder.

"You should rest. Your mother will come to say goodbye soon."

 

* * *

 

 

**_3 hours ago // Forest_ **

 

Clarke was half asleep in the commander's tent, waiting for the moment when they would have to leave the village for the mission when she heard some noise behind her. Anxiously, she tried to sknea her hand under the pillow to reach the knife Lexa always let there just in case. She didn't have time to grab the hilt though, as soon enough two gentle arms were wrapped around her waist and a strong body was spooning her. An overwhelming scent of forest and freedom and _home_ hit her, her whole body relaxing all at once.

"Lexa..."

"Hmm."

One of the warrior's calloused hand came to a rest on her stomach, and her heart stopped for a second at the gesture. It was one of the first time Lexa was being so forward with her. She didn't move, afraid to ruin the moment, taking in all she could before she had to step out of this comfortable embrace to get back to the real world.

"Are you ready?"

Those words were whispered in the dark, but the demon's mouth was resting just next to her ear and Clarke heard it crystal clear. She took a long, deep breath and exhaled slowly, oppening her eyes and turning to face her.

"I am."

 

* * *

 

**_1 hour ago // Arkadia_ **

 

 The two women were under cover by the trees at the ege of the forest, allowing them to watch the guards posted at the entry without being seen.

"Okay. Here we go."

The blonde sighed anxiously and avoided Saya's gaze a little, prefering to stay focused on the task at hand. On of the three guards by the front door had an ipod and was listening to some music that must have felt weird to Saya, who kept giving him strange looks. Clarke would probably have laughed at how silly he looked trying to sing along and reach the high notes with his low voice, if she wasn't so shaky about what could be the outcome of their situation.

"It's gonna get dark very soon if we don't hurry", the brunette gently reminded.

Clarke closed her eyes, and when she opened them again her hands were in her line of sight, trembling a bit. A firm but comforting one came over them, gripping and taking the girl's focus back on the task at hand.

"Yeah, right. I'll go out first, and you'll follow behind me. Act scared and lost, they have to think you're a tiny little thing that needs their help."

A smirk on, Saya nodded. That's all it took for Clarke to take a deep breath and leave her place behind the tree that was hiding her from the three guards at the doors. As they got closer, she could see the guns aimed at them, and the worried look on the Arker's faces.

"Who are you and why are you here?"

It was on of the woman who had talked. An older woman, blonde, sharp features, her name was Byrne if Clarke recalled.

"My name is Clarke Griffin, daughter of the head surgeon Abbi-"

"I know who you are. I was asking about her."

She aimed her gun at her Mtach's twin, and Clarke swallowed as discretly as possible her anxiousness.

"My name is Saya Griffin."

The blue eyed girl was looking at her like she had grown another head.

"I was raised Outside, by the group of angels that chose to live Outside. You know Jake Griffin, I suppose?"

"He's dead, but he was an engeneer. Why?"

"He came from that same group."

_What the fuck? I'll have to ask Lexa about that._

"Why are you here now?"

"Clarke found me. I'm the last survivor, and she offered to help me get here safely, but we were unprepared and the dangers were high."

"Well, you finally made it, and you must me cold and starving.", the guy with the ipod said, having cut his music down a few minutes ago. "I'll go open the doors, you'll feel better when you're warm, fed, and safe."

They nodded and throw them fake thankful smiles. Were they _really_ buying their bullshit? Byrne went to the other side of the gates and they worked together to open while the other woman was watching them with a mix of pity and disgust at their grounder look painted all over her pale face.

Saya let her wings free and her white feathers came out in the open, allowing her to step Inside without any issue. When it was Clarke's turn to follow, though, she started walking backwards.

"Oh shit! I- I forgot some very important stuffs in the bunker! I gotta go take them."

She ran off to the lines of trees, ignoring the shoting of the guards. 'It's too dangerous!' they said, 'You're gonna get killed!'. But she actually counted on that: them thinking she was dead.

She took cover behind the bushes and sat down to the ground, trying to get her breathig back to normal. When she realised she couldn't, she stood up slowly and started to wander around, walking through the forest with her hands clamped on her chest, trying to get back to the village. Saya was in the hands of her people now. Same people who killed their soulmates. Same people who executed her father. Same people who throw her out and forced her to face the dangers of Outside. 

If Saya died, Lexa would never be the same again.

 

* * *

 

 

**_Now_ **

 

Forever. That's how long it felt like. Her head was spinning from the lack of oxygen and she could feel the pressure on her chest increase with every passing moment. She didn't know how far she still was from Ton DC and her vision was getting blurry. She stopped by a tree and tried to remember what her father used to say when she had panick attacks.

_Take a breath in, then out, slowly. Count to ten, come on, match my breathing. Very good, you're doing very good._

In her rush to get air inside of her lungs she didn't bother try and get it out, making her body weaker and weaker and putting her on the edge of passing out.

Her eyes were beginning to close with heaviness when she felt two strong arms circle her waist from behind, and a lean body pressed against hers tightly. No words were said, they would have been of no use. Lexa took Clarke's hands in her left one, and put her right on her chest. She breathed deliberately slowly, helping Clarke match her breath.

She sat on the floor against the trunk slowly and positionned Clarke between her legs, her front flush against the blonde's back. It took a while with them sitting on the forest floor, listening to the sounds of the life around them and taking in the calm they were finally in, before the blonde calmed down enough to talk.

"How did you find me?"

Her voice was still sore and her throat hurtful but Lexa heard her clearly.

"I was training in the fields and felt your presence. Are you okay? What happened to Saya?"

"I- I mean, she's okay. For now. She's Inside, but..."

She took a deep breath to steady herself

"I can't- I can't control what's going to happen to her now."

The brunette was silent for a moment, rubbing small circles on the back of the blonde's hand with her thumb.

"No one can, _Klark_. Warrior do not worry about something they can't control.

Clarke sighed and shook her head slightly.

"I'm not even a warrior."

"The spirits will decide of her fate and-"

"Lexa please. You have to know better than believe in such things as spirits and fate. You can't possibly just let your sister's life lie in the hands of some belief you seem to have."

The green eyed  woman was calm when she stated "You don't believe in them."

"I don't."

"Then I will believe in them for you."


	11. AUTHOR'S NOTE

So...It's been a while.

I really hate it when authors just abandon their work for that long - so yeah, I'm really sorry. I had problems of emails notifications with this account, which is why I now have another one where I go more often, it's MissCamomille and I'm writing a fic there if you're interested (it's nothing like this one, it's all fluff, but I thought I might tell you guys.)

I'm planning on coming back to this account to continue my fics when i have time (Exams are crazy this year, and ti's only getting worse but holidays are coming up soon). If people are still interested in this story, I'll do my best to come back here and finish it. Just tell me if it's worth me taking time to write it or not :).

I love you guys, thank you for your support!

FCD

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos make my day :)
> 
> Also here is my tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/camillethewritter
> 
> I'm camillethewritter there ;). I'll be talking about this fic and ging you update about it, pictures, stuffs like that so you might want to go and check it ;)


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